Nothing Says Friendship Like…Dumpster Diving
If you are a mom, scratch that, if you have graduated from college, you may or may not ask yourself from time to time if you still have the ability to have fun like you used to. There is something about responsibility that seems to frighten the fun away…ya know what I am talking about – you go out for a night and that nagging fear that your To-Do list will only grow, as the money in your bank account dwindles – kills your buzz in a big way.
A few months ago, my very dear friend Shannon asked if we could do a girls weekend, and I couldn’t swing it financially…so , without skipping a beat, she suggested she plan something nice for the two of us, and I said – “Um…yes. Yes. Yes.”
We headed down to the West Village, which I swear, I have not travelled to since before Ellie was born. You have to actually get out of your yoga pants to be accepted down there. Anyway, we entered a very nice restaurant which seemed to be filled with straight men that appeared to be “rich and douchey.” This was the description given by one of my closest and oldest NYC friends…which means that he and his husband (they are gay in case you are confused) were also going to have dinner with us!!!! Shannon surprised me with not only a fancy dinner, but some great company as well.
In the past two years, one of us has lost their mother, one of us has had a baby, and two of us got married…and that is a very simple summary. So to say too much time had lapsed between our last bonding session would be a great understatement.
It was so unbelievably energizing to know that even though we have been friends for almost a decade – and our lives have changed drastically in that time – we still can enjoy time together, just like we are 22 again.
And to the supreme irritation of the bitchy women next to our table, Shannon and I captured this happy meal in photo.
Then we headed decided to get a lovely night cap…which is where I was over-served some very delicious jalapeno margaritas and we snapped this AMAZING photo.
(Note: Ellie was not present. She was blissfully unaware of how blissful her mom was, while in the care of a close friend).
Nothing could ruin the night…even the inability to hail a Taxi. Might have failed the taxi hailing, but I snapped this awesome photo of us attempting to grab a cab.
Now you may think that this is where the dumpster diving enters the story…because we all know that tequila can make crazy things happen. But not so much in this case.
This part of the story ends with all of us unable to hail a cab, getting on the subway, and then realizing we all needed to pee very badly. It was like I was pregnant again – but not.
Anyway, the dumpster diving took place on Saturday, after my friend Anthony made a very delicious brunch that I pretended was low-fat and low-cal so that I could enjoy seconds. And thirds.
After brunch but before dumpster diving, Ellie enjoyed some pool time…
Then she enjoyed some gossip magazines…
And the day was simply amazing until…I needed my wallet.
It was the end of the day, Ellie was ready to go home, so we headed back into my friends apartment. As we were travelling up the elevator I turned to my friend Shannon and said, “Do you know where my wallet is? I haven’t seen it in a while.”
Shannon was very unconcerned (which is amazing because anyone that knows me well knows that I have a tendency to…misplace things). “I’m sure I saw it in your bag,” she said as she began feeling around the bag.
When we got into Anthony and Josh’s apartment, I emptied to the bag only to find – NO WALLET. Unfortunately Ellie didn’t really care that I couldn’t find my wallet, as she was mainly concerned about getting home ASAP. No amount of food worked as a distraction. I began to sweat. And breath heavily.
“Um guys, the last time I remember seeing my wallet was when I put it in the Whole Foods bag from lunch. Where is that bag?”
“We put it down the trash chute.”
So ya know that really bad feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know that your excellent day just took a big turn? Yea…that is the feeling I got. And I thought – “if these two men were straight that bag would have sat in the apartment for at least 3 days. Damn it!”
“Okay, so I am positive my wallet was in that bag…” I said, really unclear as to how we could solve this problem.
But alas, my friend Anthony lept into action and called the front desk of his apartment, and gave an unbelievably accurate description of said wallet. Btw…Anthony is the guy you need around in a crisis. Or if you need a fabulous event planned.
Moving on – a gentleman by the name of Harold was apparently the only one more upset than I was about the tossing of my wallet. But he was upset in that kind of, “Well what do you want me to do about it? There are a ton of garbage bags down there…you should have told me an hour ago,” sort of way.
Which made my friends upset in a, “Well we have to get the damn wallet back, so let’s work on finding a solution,” sort of way.
I began sighing VERY heavily. Ellie was flinging her head back against my chest in protest of not being home yet, and all I could honestly think was, “These people helped me through an unplanned pregnancy, and we laugh about it now – certainly we can figure this one out without anyone losing their mind.” So Shannon did what she does best when I am on the verge of losing it – and started rubbing my back. And then she asked if we could watch Sex and the City later on. With wine.
Harold (whose chances of getting a Christmas tip were probably eliminated by this incident) informed my friends that if we wanted any chance of finding the wallet, then we needed to go downstairs to sort through the garbage. From what I gather, it was not what he said, so much as how he said it.
And this is when I really wish I had a husband.
But before I could ask one of my friends to stay with Ellie so I could go downstairs, Josh and Shannon had their shoes on and were heading down to the basement, while telling me to stay put.
Ten minutes later they returned with the wallet.
They promised me that our Whole Foods bag was at the top of the first garbage bag they had to slice open – which I only sort of believe.
Regardless…you know who your true friends are when they not only treat you to an amazing dinner, a fabulous brunch, play with your daughter all day long – and then, sort through a bunch of garbage to clean up your sh*t.
Like I said, nothing says friendship like dumpster diving.