Being pregnant is very similar to being thrown into AA
And by AA, I mean Alcoholics Anonymous. Now I will admit I have never been to AA, although I have spoken to a few open individuals that have led me to believe I am not far off in my thinking.
For one, there is the obvious abstinence from alcohol, even in times of intense stress. No glass of wine for Mommy, although many of you are very kind to remind me that Europeans drink throughout their pregnancies and they produce very healthy and beautiful offspring and some have cited specific amounts of alcohol your own mother’s have consumed during their pregnancies with you. Please note, I have refrained in some cases from saying, “ahhhhh…so that’s what happened” out of a desire to be seen as polite.
I shared this thought process with a current AA member this past weekend, and he told me I was welcome to join him for a meeting. When his partner reminded him that I was pregnant and not really an alcoholic he said, “Well it is for anyone that is struggling, so you are welcome to come along. It isn’t only about refraining from having a drink, it is about putting all of that crazy in your head away and living in reality. You are reminded that you are good enough just the way you are and to just take things one day at a time.”
And there we have the other common denominator that I didn’t foresee. As I enter my fourth month of pregnancy, so much is uncertain. I don’t know the sex of the baby, I can’t hear the baby’s heartbeat every second of every day despite how much I would like to, and I have no idea what my professional life will look like 6 months from now, or for that matter what my apartment will look like. I don’t know if I ever want my child to have a cell phone, or go to a pool party or to get their driver’s license – EVER…we all know how stupid teenagers can be. Add to that my concern about how I will send my child to college, or what I will do when he or she tells me she wants to tattoo her face or move to a foreign country for a semester. The list is endless really. And when the wheels start to spin and I don’t feel like I will ever be enough, I call one of my sponsors (that’s one of you guys). Thankfully, that list is very long too. No matter what hour of the day or night, I have always had someone to call.
And usually, at least once or twice a day I say the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
And then I go an look for an item of clothing from the non-maternity section that flatters my figure now but can be worn next summer when the baby and I go out on the town together.
See photo. From SALE rack at JCREW in Time Warner Center. $29.99
Sorry for the less than stellar visual. It isn’t on the JCREW website but was worthy of the mention nonetheless.