Sleep…A Lofty Goal


Control room. Long before the sun rises.

It is 5:38am and this is what I am looking at, and have been looking at for nearly two hours. No, I am not trying to be cool.

When I woke up from my afternoon nap yesterday I told my mother there are two things I love, sleep and being left alone. I do not have what some would call a “sunny disposition” when I get up from my nap. And after 8 years of being on this schedule, my mother is aware of that.

HOWEVER, when I told her of my two favorite things she couldn’t help but remind me that I have about 4 more months of that before both of those things come to a screeching halt. Which I am well aware of, however upon thinking more about the topic of sleep I became slightly hopeful about the topic than most new mom’s are for the following reasons.

Currently, when I am awakened at 3:15am, I have to get my sleepy ass, not only out of bed, but out of the apartment – for the day. And it isn’t like I come to a place that is all gumdrops and candy canes. There might be more screaming in this room from 6am to 9am than there will ever be in my apartment from my daughter. And the great thing is, she can’t pound her fists really loudly on a desk for at least a few years, so that is an added bonus.

Additionally, I have read that newborns sleep about 12 to 16 hours a day, waking every 2 to 3 hours for feedings. Maybe I am nuts, but this sounds like a walk in the park given the whole mantra “you sleep when the baby sleeps.” And when the baby wakes up at 3am and I feed her, I GET TO DO IT IN MY PAJAMAS. (For those of you that work with me, I know that some days I look like I still have them on when I show up to work, you don’t need to remind me, I am well aware). And then after doing that in my pajamas, in my apartment, I get to get back in MY BED. Perhaps I will have only left said bed for a moment to get her out of the crib and then to put her back in the crib after she is done eating.

For all of you mom’s that are reading this and thinking, “Wow, she is oversimplifying new motherhood”, you are probably very right. But please let a woman dream. PUHLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

AND, one final thought, for EIGHT YEARS I have been sleeping at about 4 hours a clip. Last I checked, this whole waking every few hours thing shouldn’t be lasting EIGHT YEARS, so the way I see it, once I have the baby, I am one step closer to sleeping through the night.