So tomorrow I am going to read my “Dear Ellie” blog post in public. For the first time. In front of strangers. At Give It To Me Baby – Rocks The Night at the Museum of Motherhood.
Strangers are pretty much the opposite of what I have surrounded Ellie and I with over the past 18 months, so I have a little anxiety. And did I ever mention that despite my overly verbose ways, I don’t like speaking in front front of a group of people (I hate being able to see instant reaction – I am protected by this whole blog, email thing).
And I’d be lying if I tried to pretend that I haven’t gravitated toward only the most supportive people in my life.
I’d also be lying if if I tried to pretend that I wasn’t aware of how strongly people feel about all things related to the way I became a parent. But how I became a parent has nothing do with Ellie. And that kid has made me who I am today. So tomorrow night is about me thanking her for…being. And for the chaos that is my life right now. I really wouldn’t have it any other way – pity parties and poopy diapers included.
When I was 4 months pregnant I had lunch with a very good friend of mine and he asked me how I was doing. I said, “Ya know, I’ve always said I wanted to go skydiving. For years I have talked about how much I’d love to go skydiving.”
He continued to listen, waiting for my comments to make sense.
“And I feel like I went up in the plane, and I’d been circling the jump location for about 3 years…and about 4 months ago, someone came up behind me and pushed me out of the plane. It’s what I always said I wanted, so I might as well enjoy the ride.”
Hope these great pics by Studio 21 Productions make you smile.