![PEW: The American Family: Postponing Parenthood [Podcast]](https://hereweare.today/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Screen-Shot-2019-05-14-at-10.33.48-PM-268x179.png)
Parenthood and marriage are becoming two distinct things: Today 4 in 10 births are to women who aren’t married. Meet Cara Lemieux who is one of those moms that didn’t let meeting the fact that she hasn't met the right person stop her from becoming a parent.
Cara Lemieux had her first child at age 30; she was single and the pregnancy unplanned. But after working “to rebrand the single mom in my head and in the world around me,” she realized she loved motherhood. Seven years later, she decided to do it again, and once more she’s doing it on her own.
Cara Lemieux is up before her six-and-a-half-year-old daughter, getting in a few work e-mails and maybe a quick workout. Then it’s breakfast, getting her daughter off to school, and tucking herself into her home office, where she works as a senior communications strategist.
By 8:45 a.m., Cara Lemieux has gotten up, made coffee, read and sent a few e-mails, and started writing or editing, all before getting her daughter up and dressed, fed, and out the door. When six-year-old Ellie is on the bus to school, Lemieux has hit the pavement—literally—getting in a morning run or a walk with her neighbor before she tucks herself into her home office for the day.
My daughter and I were interviewed for an AllState series about firsts, and I shared our experience buying our first home and my thoughts on letting go of the life I thought that I should have so that I could fall in love with the life that I do have.
For the most part, they're bone-tired of the pervasive myth that new parenthood represents a restorative time with a delightful newborn. But it's more than merely annoying: This portrayal of new parenthood creates an escape hatch on doing anything to meaningfully support new parents in America.
One afternoon when I was doing research on gender and income inequality, I came across the name Cara Lemieux, digital media strategist for The Shriver Report–“a nonpartisan initiative that raises awareness, ignites conversations and inspires impact around the defining issues and fundamental changes facing modern women and their families.”
I am very close to turning 35. I can see it, just over there on the horizon, a little less than a month away. You know, that age when you go from seemingly fabulously fertile to barren, overnight. Biological clock aside, 35 is one of those milestone ages when you find yourself doing some sort of life assessment.
Cara Lemieux, managing editor of the ShriverReport, wishes someone would make dinner every night so that she can give her daughter a bath without stressing about dinner and the mess that needs to be cleaned up after. “When you are a single parent, all work is linear, so there is no dividing and conquering the management of the house,” discloses Lemieux.
Single moms are no more the picture that is painted of them in the media, than today's wives are a reflection of what was depicted of them in the 1950s. But changing that external image, in my opinion, starts by changing the internal dialogue.
When I got pregnant, I knew very early on that my child was going to be raised in a single-mother household. As most of you may know, statistics show that children raised by single mothers (rich or poor, educated or not) typically have lower grades and are at higher risk of becoming pregnant at an early age, doing drugs and all of the other things we don't want our children doing.
As a single parent to a toddler, there are times when I have found myself steering clear of certain activities for either emotional or logistical reasons, or both. And I must admit that a recent weekend trip to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Fla., almost fell into that category, until I remembered that Disney World is one of the most child-friendly places on earth, and navigating it would not be much different than navigating my everyday life.
As a single mom with a blog, and what some have referred to as a bold personality, I am used to being asked a lot of questions that border on brash. Everything from the older woman in the elevator looking at her watch… and then looking at my toddler…and then me, and saying, “My, my, my…isn’t coming home from preschool at 5:30 a mighty long day for such a little girl?” to the well-intentioned yet always insulting, “Why are you still single?!?”
I recently wrapped up lecturing to my first college class, which: A) Sounds really funny to say B) Is something I have always wanted to do, mainly because I was what you would call – reluctant to enter the “real” world. And since graduating in 2002…I’ve really never stopped trying to find my way back to college.
Q: Is the job you have now the same one you had before kids? If not, how and why did you change directions? A: My job is not the same as it was before I had children…which is sometimes really hard for me to accept. There are two main reasons that I left broadcast news and headed in the direction of digital media.
I have a problem…and I think it is a fairly large personality defect that I need help working on… I don’t do patience. I think I am actually wired this way, because ever since I can remember, I can recall asking for something over and over again to my parents, “How ’bout now?…How ’bout […]
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I am sort of really obsessed with a rainbow that appeared over my parent’s house this evening…and although the beauty is enough on it’s own, I will give a little context as to why I loooooove it because – well because – I can’t help myself. Ellie and I are at my parent’s house for the […]
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So last week I decided that I wanted to finally pull the trigger and get a tattoo that I have wanted for about 3 years…it’s not that I even wanted it, as much as I just visualized it there, on the inside of my right wrist. Since getting it people have asked me what […]
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I was talking to a friend the other night, sharing with him stories about my early pregnancy and how before I even knew I was pregnant, I had that cooky dream that I wrote about back in the day, where the late movie critic Joel Siegel appeared to me, sitting at the foot of my […]
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An old college friend came to visit Ellie and I this past weekend…he drove more than 8 hours to come and chill for about 40 hours…and I use the term “chill” very loosely – because a precocious two-year-old leads to many things – but chillin ain’t one of them. He also came to catch […]
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Since I can remember, I’ve been fascinated with two different parts of tragedy, or should I say an upheaval in life – one is the instant BEFORE something life altering happens…and then the second obsession is why some people are incredibly resilient and others…well… aren’t. When I volunteered at a pediatric cancer hospital, I would […]
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Guest Post By TJ Garvin Every night my daughter asks my wife and I to sing her “our” song. For my wife that song is short and simple and all about Reagan, a sweet made up song that basically says my daughter is crazy – but in a sweet loving bed time song. My […]
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Originally Posted on Lifetime Moms One of the constants in parenting that applies to every single person with kids, is that at some point, someone who has absolutely no business doing so – will give you a piece of unsolicited advice. This happens quite frequently in New York, and I chalk it up to the […]
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By Guest Writer: TJ Garvin TJ is my brother-in-law and one of the greatest men I know – Ellie and I love him more than he will ever be able to understand Life is tough. No that’s not right, life is largely a pain in the ass. Everyday most of us have several roles to […]
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My sister warned me that this would happen. Well she didn’t specifically tell me that Toy Story underwear would make me cry. BUT she did give me some insight into the depth of love that comes along with parenting. “You aren’t going to love her right away,” she said when I was about 7 […]
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