![PEW: The American Family: Postponing Parenthood [Podcast]](https://hereweare.today/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Screen-Shot-2019-05-14-at-10.33.48-PM-268x179.png)
Parenthood and marriage are becoming two distinct things: Today 4 in 10 births are to women who aren’t married. Meet Cara Lemieux who is one of those moms that didn’t let meeting the fact that she hasn't met the right person stop her from becoming a parent.
Cara Lemieux had her first child at age 30; she was single and the pregnancy unplanned. But after working “to rebrand the single mom in my head and in the world around me,” she realized she loved motherhood. Seven years later, she decided to do it again, and once more she’s doing it on her own.
Cara Lemieux is up before her six-and-a-half-year-old daughter, getting in a few work e-mails and maybe a quick workout. Then it’s breakfast, getting her daughter off to school, and tucking herself into her home office, where she works as a senior communications strategist.
By 8:45 a.m., Cara Lemieux has gotten up, made coffee, read and sent a few e-mails, and started writing or editing, all before getting her daughter up and dressed, fed, and out the door. When six-year-old Ellie is on the bus to school, Lemieux has hit the pavement—literally—getting in a morning run or a walk with her neighbor before she tucks herself into her home office for the day.
My daughter and I were interviewed for an AllState series about firsts, and I shared our experience buying our first home and my thoughts on letting go of the life I thought that I should have so that I could fall in love with the life that I do have.
For the most part, they're bone-tired of the pervasive myth that new parenthood represents a restorative time with a delightful newborn. But it's more than merely annoying: This portrayal of new parenthood creates an escape hatch on doing anything to meaningfully support new parents in America.
One afternoon when I was doing research on gender and income inequality, I came across the name Cara Lemieux, digital media strategist for The Shriver Report–“a nonpartisan initiative that raises awareness, ignites conversations and inspires impact around the defining issues and fundamental changes facing modern women and their families.”
I am very close to turning 35. I can see it, just over there on the horizon, a little less than a month away. You know, that age when you go from seemingly fabulously fertile to barren, overnight. Biological clock aside, 35 is one of those milestone ages when you find yourself doing some sort of life assessment.
Cara Lemieux, managing editor of the ShriverReport, wishes someone would make dinner every night so that she can give her daughter a bath without stressing about dinner and the mess that needs to be cleaned up after. “When you are a single parent, all work is linear, so there is no dividing and conquering the management of the house,” discloses Lemieux.
Single moms are no more the picture that is painted of them in the media, than today's wives are a reflection of what was depicted of them in the 1950s. But changing that external image, in my opinion, starts by changing the internal dialogue.
When I got pregnant, I knew very early on that my child was going to be raised in a single-mother household. As most of you may know, statistics show that children raised by single mothers (rich or poor, educated or not) typically have lower grades and are at higher risk of becoming pregnant at an early age, doing drugs and all of the other things we don't want our children doing.
As a single parent to a toddler, there are times when I have found myself steering clear of certain activities for either emotional or logistical reasons, or both. And I must admit that a recent weekend trip to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Fla., almost fell into that category, until I remembered that Disney World is one of the most child-friendly places on earth, and navigating it would not be much different than navigating my everyday life.
As a single mom with a blog, and what some have referred to as a bold personality, I am used to being asked a lot of questions that border on brash. Everything from the older woman in the elevator looking at her watch… and then looking at my toddler…and then me, and saying, “My, my, my…isn’t coming home from preschool at 5:30 a mighty long day for such a little girl?” to the well-intentioned yet always insulting, “Why are you still single?!?”
I recently wrapped up lecturing to my first college class, which: A) Sounds really funny to say B) Is something I have always wanted to do, mainly because I was what you would call – reluctant to enter the “real” world. And since graduating in 2002…I’ve really never stopped trying to find my way back to college.
Q: Is the job you have now the same one you had before kids? If not, how and why did you change directions? A: My job is not the same as it was before I had children…which is sometimes really hard for me to accept. There are two main reasons that I left broadcast news and headed in the direction of digital media.
I don’t think Ellie really knows that I failed Easter, but I know, and I am pretty sure I failed. How do you fail Easter? Oh, well let me set the scene for you. This week at work was quite busy (read, I barely had time to use the bathroom) and somewhere around Wed. or […]
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I have no idea why I didn’t think this through more carefully, but earlier today, I walked right into quite possibly one of the most trying experiences of my life. What is that you ask? Well I decided since I needed to renew my passport, I mind as well get one for my darling 15-month-old […]
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I received an email from my sister Adriane, who also happens to be the mother of my niece who is only 3 days younger than Ellie, and my nephew who is 2 1/2. SUBJECT: ? I need to know what you are calling Ellie’s “V”. I feel we need to be on the same page for […]
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No, you are not misreading this classy lady’s headline. Yes, I said that desperation almost led me to pee in the garbage can I have in bedroom. I said almost. So simmer down, ok? Alcohol was not involved, but sleep deprivation certainly was – which I am pretty sure has the same effect on the […]
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My ass used to be my biggest asset. Now, my Spanx are. I love them, and their other control garment cousins. I love them so much that I feel this odd need to always over-share when I am wearing them. In fact, I really believe that if it weren’t for shape wear, I would have […]
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That’s it. The time has come and there is finally a date on the calendar… On Thursday morning, at 7:30am, the rocking chair moves on to its next home. Yes, I will enjoy the extra space, but more than anything – I will miss that rocking chair holding me while I held Ellie. That piece […]
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So, I am really comfortable in my professional world – throw me in a room with a bunch of producers and I can talk and talk and talk…and talk. But, the mom circle has been one that I don’t find myself as comfortable in, mainly because I work full-time and to be perfectly honest, my […]
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And others are the best. Today I got an email from a close friend that I have known for almost a decade (friend, can you believe we are that old?)… SUBJECT: PRINT THIS And in the body it read… And prior to this I received an excellent card from another amazing friend. The front read: […]
Read More ›So despite how much fun the thought of being single for the rest of my life is, I have recently decided that perhaps I should say yes to some invites on my social calendar. That does not mean I am ready to date. I am still not sure how I can manage the logistics of […]
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Okay, I have soooo much to update you on, so I am going to get right to it. The overused word of this post of is – AMAZING…so brace yourselves. 1. The reading at the Museum of Motherhood was – yep – you guessed it – amazing! A bit bohemian in nature (read – I […]
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